Relationship & Attachment Therapy in San Francisco, CA
Online therapy for women with relationship anxiety and anxious attachment in California and Virginia
Overcome relationship anxiety and finally feel secure being yourself.
Many relationship problems are rooted in early attachment experiences that shape how we seek connection and respond when relationships feel uncertain, distant, or unsafe. Maybe you find yourself chasing connection, putting your needs aside, worrying about being abandoned, or losing yourself in relationships just to feel loved and chosen. Therapy can help you understand these patterns and find your way back to yourself
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
— Oscar Wilde
Are you struggling in your relationships?
You know that something isn't working in your relationships, but you can't seem to figure out how to change it. You might understand your patterns intellectually, yet still find yourself reacting in the same ways when you're afraid of losing someone. Relationship anxiety can look like:
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You find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable partners, even when you know they’re not right for you.
You’ve identified an anxious attachment style, but you don’t know how to change the patterns that keep you stuck.
You chase connection, overthink every interaction, and stay in relationships that aren't meeting your needs because being alone feels harder.
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You're constantly on high alert to things going wrong or being “off” in your relationships.
You put your needs aside and are uncomfortable setting boundaries because you worry it will make someone angry or pull away. Then you end up feeling overwhelmed and resentful.
You spiral when someone seems upset or starts pulling away and you are often stuck in a cycle of anxiously clinging or shutting down.
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You’re always trying to be the “good,” understanding, low-maintenance one trying so hard to be chosen and loved, but you know deep down that you’re not being true to yourself.
You spend so much time thinking about what your partner needs, feels, or wants that you're no longer sure what you need.
You might feel lonely even when you're in a relationship, or struggle to feel truly known and connected to the people you love.
You’re exhausted.
You want to be loved for who you are and finally have the healthy relationship you deserve. Yet you keep ending up in familiar relationships that leave you feeling anxious, insecure, or unfulfilled.
If any of this resonates, you are far from broken my friend.
How relationship therapy in San Francisco can help
You don’t have to feel so alone in this. Relationship and attachment therapy can help you understand where these painful relational patterns come from, so you can break free from them and begin building the relationships you deserve. Starting with the relationship with yourself.
What if you could go from…
Feeling hyperfixated on your partner’s needs and feelings → Focusing on your feelings, needs, and goals.
Feeling like your world will end if the relationship ends → Feeling whole in your life and secure within yourself.
Choosing unavailable partners and inconsistent love → Actually being attracted to healthy, available partners.
This kind of change is possible with relationship therapy that focuses on attachment. I am here to support you!
Benefits of Relationship and Attachment Therapy
Relationship therapy isn't about teaching you how to have a “perfect” relationship. It's about helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck so you can respond differently and create relationships that feel healthier, safer, and more fulfilling.
Relationship and attachment therapy can help if you're dating, recovering from a painful relationship, navigating a breakup, or wanting to understand why you keep choosing the relationships you do.
My Approach to Relationship Therapy
Meet your SF Relationship and Attachment Therapist Hi, I’m Alexis and I’m so glad you’ve found me here.
I know what it’s like to lose yourself in the pursuit of being loved, accepted, and “good enough.” I spent years disconnecting from my own needs, feelings, and intuition, learning to conform and keep the peace while feeling both too much and not enough.
That lived understanding is part of what drew me to attachment work and why I’m so passionate about helping women come back to themselves.
A mind-body, attachment-based approach.
My work goes deeper than simply identifying your attachment style or learning relationship skills. We won’t just talk about what happened or try to change your thoughts. Instead, we’ll explore what happens in your mind, body, and relationships when your attachment system is activated.
I integrate attachment-based therapy, somatic therapy, parts work, and relationship skill-building to help you understand your patterns from the inside out.
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Attachment work helps you understand where your relationship patterns came from while developing greater compassion for yourself. We’ll process unresolved trauma, grieve what you needed and didn’t receive as a child, and honor the attachment wounds that continue to shape how you relate to yourself and others.
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Somatic work helps you notice what happens in your body when you feel rejected, abandoned, overwhelmed, or unsafe. As you develop greater awareness and choice within your nervous system, you can build the capacity to stay grounded and connected to yourself, even when relationships feel challenging.
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Parts work helps you compassionately understand the different parts of you that may people-please, fear abandonment, avoid conflict, or work hard to keep you safe. Through trauma-informed practices, we’ll gently reparent the younger parts of yourself that may be quietly running the show in your relationships.
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You’ll have opportunities to practice communicating your needs, setting boundaries, making amends, tolerating vulnerability and conflict, and developing more secure ways of relating.
Over time, you’ll learn how to respond from a place of choice rather than automatically falling into old protective patterns.
Reach out to a Relationship and Attachment Therapist
FAQ’s
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Relationship and attachment therapy helps you understand the patterns that shape how you connect with others. We’ll explore your attachment patterns, relationship experiences, and protective strategies so you can build greater self-trust, communicate your needs, and create healthier, more secure relationships.
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No. You don’t need to attend therapy with your partner—or even have a current partner—to benefit from relationship and attachment therapy. This work can support you through a breakup, while dating someone new, or anytime you notice attachment patterns showing up in your relationships, including dating, friendships, or work.
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Yes. When you learn to trust yourself, honor your needs, and stay connected to yourself, your relationships can change too. Therapy can help you develop the self-trust and inner security you need to create healthier, more fulfilling connections.
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Yes. I offer online relationship therapy to people living in San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley, and throughout California.
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Yes. I offer online relationship therapy to people living in Alexandria, Fairfax, Richmond, and throughout Virginia.