Relationship coaching for self-worth & healthy relationships in San Francisco

Relationship Coaching available in San Francisco, CA, Richmond, VA and Worldwide
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Stop repeating the same relationship patterns and build the confidence, self-worth, and skills to create healthier relationships.

“The ocean does not apologize for its depth and the mountains do not seek forgiveness for the space they take and so, neither shall I.”

— Becca Lee

Maybe you understand your relationship patterns but still find yourself repeating them.

  • Current You

    You may know you deserve a healthy relationship, but when you really like someone, your old patterns take over. You tend to…

    • Overthink

    • People-please

    • Lose yourself in relationships

    • Seek reassurance when you feel uncertain

  • Future You

    You want your next relationship to feel different. You want to…

    • Trust yourself

    • Know what you need

    • Communicate clearly

    • Set boundaries without guilt

    • Choose partners who are capable of meeting you where you are

I've been there too. I know what it's like to lose yourself in relationships, question your worth, and look outside yourself for the reassurance that you're enough.

I also know that it's possible to build a more secure relationship with yourself and approach love differently. Relationship coaching can help you turn insight into action, so you can build genuine self-worth, change the patterns that keep you stuck, and create relationships that feel healthy, reciprocal, and secure, without sacrificing the very qualities that make you who you are.

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How relationship therapy in San Francisco can help

You don’t have to feel so alone in this. Relationship and attachment therapy can help you understand where these painful relational patterns come from, so you can break free from them and begin building the relationships you deserve. Starting with the relationship with yourself.

What if you could go from…

Feeling hyperfixated on your partner’s needs and feelings
↓
Focusing on your feelings, needs, and goals.

Feeling like your world will end if the relationship ends
↓
Feeling whole in your life and secure within yourself.

Choosing unavailable partners and inconsistent love
↓
Actually being attracted to healthy, available partners.

What if you could go from…

Feeling hyperfixated on your partner’s needs and feelings → Focusing on your feelings, needs, and goals.

Feeling like your world will end if the relationship ends → Feeling whole in your life and secure within yourself.

Choosing unavailable partners and inconsistent love → Actually being attracted to healthy, available partners.

This kind of change is possible with relationship therapy that focuses on attachment. I am here to support you!

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Benefits of Relationship and Attachment Therapy

Relationship therapy isn't about teaching you how to have a “perfect” relationship. It's about helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck so you can respond differently and create relationships that feel healthier, safer, and more fulfilling.

Relationship and attachment therapy can help if you're dating, recovering from a painful relationship, navigating a breakup, or wanting to understand why you keep choosing the relationships you do.

  • ★★★★★

    “Since working with Alexis I have learned so much about anxious attachment and true intimacy. I am proud to say I have been able to shift into a much more secure place, which has opened the door to greater intimacy and vulnerability with others. I really feel so much self-compassion for myself now that was never there before.”

    – Client 

  • ★★★★★

    “Thank you so much! I feel like I actually know myself now. That alone makes me feel so much more confident. ”

    – Client 

My Approach to Relationship Therapy 

Meet your SF Relationship and Attachment Therapist

Hi, I’m Alexis and I’m so glad you’ve found me here.

I know what it’s like to lose yourself in the pursuit of being loved, accepted, and “good enough.” I spent years disconnecting from my own needs, feelings, and intuition, learning to conform and keep the peace while feeling both too much and not enough.

That lived understanding is part of what drew me to attachment work and why I’m so passionate about helping women come back to themselves.

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A mind-body, attachment-based approach.

My work goes deeper than simply identifying your attachment style or learning relationship skills. We won’t just talk about what happened or try to change your thoughts. Instead, we’ll explore what happens in your mind, body, and relationships when your attachment system is activated.

I integrate attachment-based therapy, somatic therapy, parts work, and relationship skill-building to help you understand your patterns from the inside out.

  • Attachment work helps you understand where your relationship patterns came from while developing greater compassion for yourself. We’ll process unresolved trauma, grieve what you needed and didn’t receive as a child, and honor the attachment wounds that continue to shape how you relate to yourself and others.

  • Somatic work helps you notice what happens in your body when you feel rejected, abandoned, overwhelmed, or unsafe. As you develop greater awareness and choice within your nervous system, you can build the capacity to stay grounded and connected to yourself, even when relationships feel challenging.

  • Parts work helps you compassionately understand the different parts of you that may people-please, fear abandonment, avoid conflict, or work hard to keep you safe. Through trauma-informed practices, we’ll gently reparent the younger parts of yourself that may be quietly running the show in your relationships.

  • You’ll have opportunities to practice communicating your needs, setting boundaries, making amends, tolerating vulnerability and conflict, and developing more secure ways of relating.

    Over time, you’ll learn how to respond from a place of choice rather than automatically falling into old protective patterns.

Reach out to a Relationship and Attachment Therapist

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FAQ’s

  • Relationship and attachment therapy helps you understand the patterns that shape how you connect with others. We’ll explore your attachment patterns, relationship experiences, and protective strategies so you can build greater self-trust, communicate your needs, and create healthier, more secure relationships.

  • No. You don’t need to attend therapy with your partner—or even have a current partner—to benefit from relationship and attachment therapy. This work can support you through a breakup, while dating someone new, or anytime you notice attachment patterns showing up in your relationships, including dating, friendships, or work.

  • Yes. When you learn to trust yourself, honor your needs, and stay connected to yourself, your relationships can change too. Therapy can help you develop the self-trust and inner security you need to create healthier, more fulfilling connections.

  • Yes. I offer online relationship therapy to people living in San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley, and throughout California.

  • Yes. I offer online relationship therapy to people living in Alexandria, Fairfax, Richmond, and throughout Virginia.