Relationship coaching for self-worth & healthy relationships in San Francisco

Relationship Coaching available in San Francisco, CA, Richmond, VA and Worldwide
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Stop repeating the same relationship patterns and build the confidence, self-worth, and skills to create healthier relationships.

“The ocean does not apologize for its depth and the mountains do not seek forgiveness for the space they take and so, neither shall I.”

— Becca Lee

Maybe you understand your relationship patterns but still find yourself repeating them.

  • Current You

    You may know you deserve a healthy relationship, but when you really like someone, your old patterns take over.

    You tend to:

    • Overthink

    • People-please

    • Lose yourself in relationships

    • Seek reassurance when you feel uncertain

  • Future You

    You want your next relationship to feel different.

    You want to:

    • Trust yourself

    • Know what you need

    • Communicate clearly

    • Set boundaries without guilt

    • Choose partners who are capable of meeting you where you are

I've been there too. I know what it's like to lose yourself in relationships, question your worth, and look outside yourself for the reassurance that you're enough.

I also know that it's possible to build a more secure relationship with yourself and approach love differently. Relationship coaching can help you turn insight into action, so you can build genuine self-worth, change the patterns that keep you stuck, and create relationships that feel healthy, reciprocal, and secure, without sacrificing the very qualities that make you who you are.

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Is Relationship Coaching right for you?

Relationship coaching is for women who are ready to understand their relationship patterns, strengthen their self-worth, and practice new ways of relating.

You don't have to be in a relationship to benefit from coaching. We can work together whether you're dating, recovering from a breakup, in a relationship that feels confusing, or simply want to build a healthier relationship with yourself before your next one.

  • You keep repeating the same relationship patterns

    Maybe you become attached quickly, overlook red flags, or find yourself drawn to people who aren't emotionally available. You may overfunction in relationships, give more than you receive, or become anxious when someone pulls away.

    You understand the pattern, but understanding it hasn't necessarily helped you change it.

    Coaching can help you identify your specific relationship patterns, understand what keeps them going, and practice responding differently so you can make more intentional choices.

  • You want to build genuine self-worth

    Maybe you know intellectually that you're worthy, but you don't always feel it.

    You may look for reassurance from a partner, compare yourself to other women, question whether you're enough, or feel like you have to be more attractive, successful, easygoing, or accommodating to be chosen.

    Self-worth coaching can help you build a more grounded sense of value that doesn't depend on someone else's attention, approval, or relationship status.

  • You're ready for healthier relationships

    You don't want to simply find a relationship. You want to know how to have a healthy relationship.

    You want to communicate openly, set boundaries, recognize emotional availability, navigate conflict, maintain your sense of self, and choose a partner based on compatibility rather than chemistry alone.

    Coaching can help you develop the awareness and skills to create a relationship where you can feel connected without losing yourself.

  • You’re ready to heal anxious attachment

    You don't want to keep feeling anxious, overthinking, or questioning where you stand in your relationships. You want to feel secure in love without needing constant reassurance or worrying that one wrong move could push someone away.

    You want to stop reading into texts, overanalyzing someone's behavior, and putting your needs aside to keep a relationship. You want to trust yourself, feel grounded when uncertainty comes up, and know that you're worthy of love even when someone else can't give you the reassurance you're looking for.

    Coaching can help you understand your anxious attachment patterns, learn to self-soothe through nervous system regulation, build inner security, and practice new ways of responding so you can experience love without fear running the show, or losing yourself in the process.

  • We'll identify the patterns that tend to show up when you like someone, feel uncertain, experience conflict, or fear rejection.

    Together, we can explore patterns like people-pleasing, overgiving, seeking reassurance, ignoring your needs, becoming overly focused on a partner, or pulling away when you're afraid of getting hurt.

    The goal isn't to judge your patterns. It's to understand them well enough that you can make different choices.

  • We'll work on developing a stronger relationship with yourself. One where your needs, feelings, preferences, and boundaries matter.

    You can learn to trust your judgment, communicate what you want, tolerate someone else's disappointment, and stop measuring your worth by whether someone chooses you.

    Relationship coaching can help you feel confident enough in yourself that you don't have to abandon who you are to maintain connection.

  • Healthy relationships require more than finding the “right” person. They also require skills you can practice.

    We'll work on recognizing emotionally available partners, communicating your needs, setting boundaries, navigating conflict, pacing emotional intimacy, and staying connected to yourself as a relationship develops.

    You can learn to choose relationships that feel both emotionally fulfilling and healthy, not simply relationships that feel familiar.

What we can work on together:

  • ★★★★★

    “Since working with Alexis I have learned so much about anxious attachment and true intimacy. I am proud to say I have been able to shift into a much more secure place, which has opened the door to greater intimacy and vulnerability with others. I really feel so much self-compassion for myself now that was never there before.”

    – Client 

  • ★★★★★

    “Thank you so much! I feel like I actually know myself now. That alone makes me feel so much more confident. ”

    – Client 

My coaching approach

My approach to relationship coaching combines attachment theory, parts work, nervous system awareness, mindset work, and practical relationship skills.

We'll look at the patterns underneath your relationships while keeping our focus on where you want to go. We'll use what you learn about yourself to make different choices in the present. I believe your patterns developed for a reason. You don't need to shame yourself out of them. You need to understand what they're trying to accomplish and develop new ways of meeting those needs.

Coaching is collaborative and practical. We'll identify what you want to change, build awareness around what gets in the way, and practice new ways of responding, so that you move from understanding to experiencing.

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Therapy vs. relationship coaching

Therapy and relationship coaching can both help you create healthier relationships, but they serve different purposes.

Therapy is designed to address mental health concerns such as trauma, anxiety, and depression. Therapy may involve processing painful experiences and exploring how they continue to affect you today.

Relationship coaching is a future-focused and goal-oriented process designed to help you grow personally, strengthen your relationship with yourself, and create healthier relationships with others. Coaching can support you in building self-worth, changing relationship habits, improving communication, setting boundaries, and taking intentional steps toward your goals.

  • Coaching is not psychotherapy and does not involve diagnosing or treating mental health conditions, such as anxiety disorders, depression, or PTSD. Coaching does not replace mental health treatment.

    If you're experiencing significant anxiety, depression, trauma symptoms, or other mental health concerns that are affecting you day-to-day, therapy may be the more appropriate starting point.

    If you're feeling relatively stable and want focused support around relationships, confidence, self-worth, and creating meaningful change, coaching may be a good fit.

    If you're unsure which is right for you, we can talk about it during your consultation.

Reach out

Why work with me?

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist with over a decade of clinical experience helping women understand how their early experiences shape their attachment patterns, self-worth, and relationships. Through my work, I've seen how these patterns can keep women feeling anxious in love, questioning their worth, and losing touch with themselves in an effort to feel secure and connected.

I've also experienced what it's like to struggle with self-worth and lose touch with yourself in relationships. I know how difficult it can be to find your way back to yourself, and I know that change is possible.

I've taken what I've learned through years of clinical work and personal experience and brought that knowledge into relationship coaching, where I help women turn self-awareness into meaningful change. Rather than focusing on treating mental health concerns, coaching allows us to focus on where you want to go: building inner security, trusting yourself, honoring your needs, and creating healthier relationship patterns.

My goal is to help you feel rooted in who you are, confident in your worth, and secure enough to love deeply without losing yourself. So you can build a more trusting relationship with yourself and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships with others without giving up your authenticity.

Looking for a self-paced way to build inner security? Discover Root & Rise: A Self-Study Course for Secure Love.

Explore a self-study course for anxious attachment

Root & Rise:

Reclaim Your Secure and Authentic Self 

Is one-on-one coaching not right for you at the moment?
You don't have to navigate your relationship patterns alone.

Root to Rise: Reclaim Your Secure and Authentic Self is a self-study course designed to help caring, sensitive women understand their anxious attachment patterns, cultivate inner security, reconnect with themselves, and build healthier relationships. Your sensitivity was never the problem, and you don’t have to keep shrinking yourself to feel worthy.

Through guided lessons, mindfulness practices, and practical exercises, you can begin making meaningful changes on your own time, at your own pace.

Explore Root & Rise

Start your relationship coaching journey

Start building a different relationship with yourself now. One where you trust your instincts, honor your needs, know your worth, and feel confident choosing relationships that are healthy and reciprocal.

Start with a consultation

FAQ’s

  • If you’re experiencing a mental health concern, such as ongoing depression or anxiety, ADHD, OCD, or PTSD (not an exhaustive list, just examples), therapy will treat these conditions. If you are generally functioning well, but notice patterns that you don’t like, aren’t meeting your goals, or you feel misaligned with your values, relationship coaching is a great option.

    If you’re uncertain if you should engage in therapy or coaching, feel free to reach out to me by sending me a text at 415-715-9126 or email to alexis@authenticself-therapy.com.

    I’ll ask some questions to determine if therapy or coaching is the better fit for you. If I am unable to provide you therapy, I’d be happy to provide referrals.

  • Relationship coaching is a future-focused process designed to help you understand your relationship patterns, strengthen self-worth, develop healthier relationship skills, and create more fulfilling relationships.

    It can be helpful whether you're single, dating, in a relationship, or preparing for your next relationship.

    Coaching is not therapy. Therapy treats a clinical diagnosis like Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, or Major Depressive Disorder. In coaching, we work on skill building, awareness, and goal setting.

  • Therapy focuses on mental health and can address concerns such as anxiety, depression, trauma, and diagnoses like OCD or ADHD, for example. Relationship coaching focuses on growth, skill-building, self-worth, and creating the relationships and life you want moving forward.

    Because I am a licensed therapist, I can help you determine whether coaching or therapy is the better fit for what you're experiencing.

  • Yes. Relationship coaching can help you identify the patterns you tend to repeat, understand what triggers them, and practice responding differently.

    We may work on people-pleasing, overgiving, seeking reassurance, losing yourself in relationships, difficulty setting boundaries, choosing emotionally unavailable partners, or confusing intensity with compatibility.

  • Yes. Self-worth coaching can help you develop a stronger sense of your value that isn't dependent on being chosen, approved of, needed, or validated by someone else.

    We'll work on self-trust, boundaries, confidence, self-respect, and learning to make choices that reflect what you genuinely want and need.

  • Yes. Relationship coaching is offered online and available to anyone worldwide, allowing us to work together regardless of where you are located.

  • I offer online therapy to clients located in California and Virginia, in accordance with my therapist licensure requirements.

    Relationship coaching is a separate, non-clinical service and may be available to clients worldwide, subject to applicable laws and coaching requirements.

    If you're unsure which service is right for you, feel free to reach out!

  • There isn't a set number of sessions. Some people want focused support around a specific relationship or dating pattern, while others prefer ongoing coaching as they work toward larger changes.

    We'll discuss your goals during your consultation and determine what type and length of coaching support makes sense for you.

  • Absolutely. You don't need to be in a relationship to work on your relationships.

    Coaching can help you understand your dating patterns, strengthen self-worth, recognize emotionally available partners, clarify what you want in a relationship, and practice staying connected to yourself as you date.

  • Yes. Coaching can support you in improving communication, setting boundaries, navigating conflict, understanding your patterns, and learning how to maintain your sense of self while building greater intimacy with your partner.

  • Yes! Relationship coaching can help you better understand your anxious attachment patterns and develop new ways of navigating relationships. Together, we can work on building inner security, trusting yourself, communicating your needs, and responding to relationship uncertainty with greater confidence. The goal is to help you create healthier relationship patterns and experience connection without losing yourself in the process.

    Coaching is a non-clinical service focused on personal growth and practical change, rather than diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. If you're experiencing significant anxiety or trauma symptoms, therapy may be a more appropriate fit.